Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
This is classic penis vs brain.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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