So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
