porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
