dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
