i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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