i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
