Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
