Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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