i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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