my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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