She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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