god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
