We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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