I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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