clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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