I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
