there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Randomize
