Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
