He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
