Can i not drive my cunt home
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
sarcasm needs its own font
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
