Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
