Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
