I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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