i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
