my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
