would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
