Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
