Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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