i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
