I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
