she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
