so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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