I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize