I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
