it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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