5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
