It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
