On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
