Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
