idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
