Banned from zoo.
Again?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
