Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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