I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
