JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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