My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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