Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
