im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize