I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
