What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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