does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
