the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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