put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
