JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
